The Top Ten Soul Crushing Foods for a Ketogenic Diet
Are you following a keteogenic diet? Have you questioned starting this style of eating? First, a ketogenic nutrition plan is high in fat, moderate in protein and very low in carbohydrate. Secondly, for those strictly following a ketogenic plan, their carbohydrate intake is typically less than 5-10% of the total energy intake. I know, so very generous…I can hardly get over it.
The following list of foods are definitely a part of the of ketogenic diet. I can’t imagine anyone practicing the ketogenic diet without these foods. In fact, without eating the foods and food combinations below, I’m not sure if someone could survive.
10. Bottle of Avocado Oil. If you just consumed a 16 oz. bottle of avocado oil every day you should lose up to 3 pounds of fat in just 7 days!!! If you don’t believe me, you should try it. Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner = avocado oil. You should probably eat some other foods with the oil, but make sure they go well with the avocado oil because you don’t want to throw off your palate. Added bonus…it travels well.
9. Local Squirrels. These creatures are probably in your back yard so you can get in some high-intense interval training while you hunt these down. This means you would be burning fat and calories. If you just roast these over a fire they should be done in no time. If you don’t know what to pair with the squirrel, simply watch the first The Hunger Games movie because Katniss Everdeen is quite the pro with all things squirrel.
8. Bag of Pork Rinds. Snap, crackle, pop. Oh wait, these aren’t Rice Crispies. Rice Crispies are banned. The next time you sit down for dinner as a family, you get to serve these special nuggets of fried pig fat. I guarantee your ten year old will request this every week after trying just one bite. I tried to research pork rind recipes and I didn’t last longer than 60 seconds because the nausea was getting REAL. Hmm. Weird.
7. Cricket Avocado Salad. These crunchy insects would go great over an avocado salad. Crickets are basically the perfect crouton, but totally not a crouton. Just add a little chicken and salsa and you can call it lunch. According to the Internet, crickets are environmentally friendly AND give you a solid dose of protein. This basically means you are saving the world by eating crickets. Winning.
6. Can of Sardines + 2 T. Mayonnaise. This epic duo is so scrumptious you can’t help but smile with every bite; however, I would question if someone is truly smiling or fighting back the urge to spit out the slimy goop, which may look like smiling. Go back to when you were five years old and your mother was force-feeding you pureed green beans. That’s the smile I’m talking about.
5. Full Block of Cream Cheese. There is nothing better than peeling off that foil to spoon out the creamy yet tangy goodness of cream cheese. Guess what?! Full-fat cream cheese is gluten-free, nut free, non-GMO, 100% organic, low in sodium, free of lectins, sugar free, contains no added sugar, and provides 60 grams of saturated fat per block!
4. Scrambled Eggs Yolks and “Cauliflower Toast.” This combination is like you are actually eating eggs and toast, but you aren’t. Mind tricks. The ketogenic diet likes to pride itself on making you think you are eating something, but you aren’t. Keto Cookies. Keto Pancakes. Keto Cake. Keto Pasta. Mind tricks. I don’t know about you, but I am getting tired of the mind tricks.
3. Bear Burgers. Bears are fat. Bears love to eat berries. Because bears eat berries and get fat then this means bears would be the perfect protein and fat combo to add to your dinner rotation. Be careful when searching for bears, they can bite.
2. Coffee Cake 2.0. This stuff is legit. You make coffee cake using one bag coconut flour, two sticks of butter, four tablespoons of MCT oil and a few scoops of coffee grounds. After you form the dough, you glaze it with a cinnamon butter sauce and bake it. It may not rise, but whatever. This is like that bullet coffee, but in a different form. You don’t need to eat anything else all day because you will be pooping your pants and your energy levels will be through the roof. I am secretly banging my head against the wall.
1. Banana. My apologies, you can’t eat this. I think I got ahead of myself. If you do eat this food while following a ketogenic diet, you might as well sit in your corner of SHAME. How dare you crave energy, electrolytes and eat foods that help with your recovery.
Just like every diet out there, there is some science to back up the ketogenic diet. Traditionally, the ketogenic style of eating is practiced as a short-term tool. It has been used to enhance insulin sensitivity or to help those with very high blood sugar levels improve their hormonal response through ketogenic dietary protocols. If someone is following this high fat diet to improve insulin sensitivity, it is typically is not recommended to practice longer than 8 to 12 weeks due to the restrictive nature of the diet.
News Flash!!!! The ketogenic diet is being abused, misused and practiced among too many people for far too long. Outside of being misused, many people struggle with the ability to physically and genetically handle a high fat diet, especially a diet high in saturated fat. I have met numerous athletes and individuals that know a ketogenic plan doesn’t work for them yet they struggle to get out of it because carbohydrates now scare the begeepers out of them.
Three things to consider before going on any new or different nutrition protocol or meal plan:
1.) Why am I actually doing this? What is the purpose? What will change about me if I follow this? If the answer is body-weight focused then you are doing it for the WRONG reasons.
2.) Collect blood work and get to know your biology on an objective level. What changes do I actually need to make?
3.) Positively advocate for your health and better understand what works for you and what doesn’t. This requires using a wise-mind, not a quick-fix mind.
You probably realized I am not the biggest fan of the ketogenic diet. I am not. It is too restrictive, too unrealistic and far too unsustainable. From my experience, I have seen it do more harm than good. Stop with the quick fixes and start living your life with your future in mind. Hugs, Lindsay.